The Write On Wednesday Rules: Get creative with the writing exercises - there isn't a right or wrong. Please do try to visit the other members of Write On Wednesdays and leave a comment. You can grab the button for Write On Wednesdays from my sidebar.
Write On Wednesdays Exercise 15 - Give yourself some time to notice the people around you. The people who may cross your path each day. Choose one person, someone you don't know, and this person will become the basis of the week's writing exercise. Describe this person as you see them, describe their surroundings. Then imagine a problem, create conflict for this person. Describe the conflict. Describe how your character deals with the problem. The conflict might resolve itself, it might not. It is up to you. The aim is to show how your character responds to conflict and in the process, reveal something about that character. Tell us their story.
He had the radio on to some trashy station that he wasn’t paying attention to. His foot was resting easily on the gas pedal as he puttered up another nondescript street. The collar of his shirt was itchy, and his hand frequently found itself scratching his neck. At the first house, he stopped and, grabbing his oversize carrier bag, climbed out of the blue and white truck and walked up the steps.
His worn out sneakers slapped the sidewalk as he gathered the letters and ads in one hand and expertly dished them out into the mailbox. Was that a wedding invitation? He inwardly groaned at the advertisements which he saw so often, knowing that only he could appreciate their nastiness. He, who carried them around all day, wishing desperately that he would find a wad of cash tucked into the magazines, or a secret note on the back of a letter, just to make his life a little less mundane.
The letters were different. He loved those envelopes, which told so many stories about the people who trusted their correspondence to him. He only wished that some day there would be more, not the dwindling number of droopy birthday wishes and sappy wedding invites. Every day he yearned more for true letters, fat paper packages filled with pages of deep sentiments and secret thoughts.
Over the years, he had begun to lose hope, waiting day after day for something special, something addressed to him. His hair had whitened, his bones had grown old and weary, yet still the postman waited. He knew his day would come, and when it finally happened, he was ready for it. He sat in his truck, which was nearly as old as he was, smiled an elderly smile, and ripped open the bulging envelope, only to gasp aloud and fall back into his seat, completely stunned.
Wonderful description! I got a loneliness vibe rush over me as I was reading this and then I got to the last line. I wonder what he could be so stunned about??
ReplyDeleteFantastic writing!! :)
Very intriging, would love to read more of this story of yours.
ReplyDeleteI loved this! Postman was a great choice for this exercise and I love his sentiments towards his precious cargo. The idea of the deep sentiments and secret thoughts is brilliant, I had never even considered this about mail but it's so true and I absolutely adore this idea! It will make me smile everytime I see a postman now :) Great first exercise, looking forward to seeing more from you!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Write on Wednesdays. I also loved the feelings he had for his mail, and it's a great idea, and start to a story. I want to know what was in the envelope :) Looking forward to reading more from you.
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued also and can't wait to read what happens next. That was great!
ReplyDeleteAnne xx
I found this slow to warm up, but you really surprised me with the last 2 paragraphs. What a great character! Show him to us earlier in the piece: pull us in, make us want to go on his rounds with him. Yes, he's bored, but don't waste 2 paragraphs telling us how bored he is. Be concise.
ReplyDeleteYour ending is very strong, please look at the start and rewrite it to have as much punch as the ending.
Great job!
I agree the end packed a punch! well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your great advice and comments. I agree with therythmmethod about the first couple paragraphs, and when I have time I will rewrite them. It was written rather quickly and I realized that after. thanks again to all of you, and I can't wait for next week!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful story! The last two paragraphs were just so full of character, conflict and surprise. Beautifully crafted.
ReplyDeleteAs therhythmmethod suggests, you could easily rework the beginning to draw us in with more immediacy.
Great job!
This is interesting! You gave us a vivid description of how mundane a postman's life is. I especially love how you describe the postman himself. Follow what Karen suggested, she's very good at that.=)
ReplyDeleteSmiles,
Andy from wordsandpen.com
I don't know, I thought the first two paragraphs were fine. I didn't feel bored reading them the first time, and now that I've re-read them a few times, I still think they set the scene well. His boredom with his job is all part of his character, and an insight in to the life of a postman!
ReplyDeleteGood job, and welcome!
So.....what was in the envelope anyway??!
Welcome and thanks for sharing your writing.
ReplyDeleteWe are very friendly at Wow!
Yes, the wonderful things the postman must see... great concept.
Read you later
Great first piece for WoW! The ending is the best. I want to know what he read that was so stunning! I hope you continue to post more to this story. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThanks to all of you! I loved writing this piece, it kind of came out of thin air. I am actually not sure myself what is in the envelope, but perhaps one day I will find out and tell you!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to WoW - I agree with the comments about your piece ending well (I'm left wondering if he's opened someone else's mail since he's sat in his van and not at his home). The first couple of paragraphs could do with a rework but I wouldn't worry about it - the point about WoW is that it provides opportunity for us to practice the craft - we're not producing fully formed pieces of work. Keep it going! Couple of practical things; keep it simple and try not to write like a writer - e.g. instead of 'his hand frequently found itself scratching his neck' - 'his collar was itchy and he scratched his neck constantly' will do. Also, try not to use phrases like 'nondescript street' - another boring street is enough (or describe the street to evoke the monotony). Get hold of a copy of Stephen King's book 'On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft' it's surprisingly good.
ReplyDelete