The Story of my Blog Title

Quilt of Dragonflies- My blog is named that for a reason.I am lucky enough to own a genuine Quilt of Dragonflies, which I am sure brings me good dreams when I sleep beneath it. It was given to me by a friend of my mother's, who handmade the entire thing. Color meets pattern in this fantastic piece of artwork which sits on my bed. Brilliant shades of purple, blue, and green intersperse with tie dye dragonflies. I will not hesitate to call it my inspiration.







Friday, April 13, 2012

Poem Edit: Seaman's Song

I have been thinking lately about my poetry. I wrote a bunch of wonderful poems at the beginning of this blog, but I think some of them could do with a jolt of some sort. I have never been one for editing poems, but I would like to go back and edit a couple that I loved but could be better. The first is one I wrote a long time ago called "Seaman's Song".

Here is the original:


the joy of wind filling your sails
land lubbers to seamen pale
in comparing the two I find
the sea is the one which captures my mind

I do love my lady, the lady the sea
she is the most dearest to me, to me
whenever I gaze out at the water so deep
she is the melody to which I sleep


green grey waves in the ocean of time
each minute that passes is sublime
my watch is the sun that beats down on high
the moon and the stars dapple the night sky

I do love my lady, the lady the sea
she is the most dearest to me, to me
whenever I gaze out at the water so deep
she is the melody to which I sleep

and when to the shore the boat is set
I reach down to touch her and get myself wet
for I am a sailor and for me
I am the one married to the sea

I do love my lady, the lady the sea
she is the most dearest to me, to me
whenever I gaze out at the water so deep
she is the melody to which I sleep

Here is the edited version. I have not changed everything, just a couple parts I didn't like as much in the first version.

The crashing waves and crisp sea air
The blank horizon to which I stare
Sailing into the blue I find
The sea is the woman who captures my mind
I do love my lady, my lady the sea
She is the best lady for me, for me
With eyes as blue as the briny deep
Her song is the one which sends me to sleep
No other girl shall be in my head
When I can rest on the sea bed
And in the morning, with sun on high
She smiles as ships go passing by
I do love my lady, my lady the sea
She is the lone lady for me, for me
With eyes as blue as the briny deep
Her song is the one which sends me to sleep
And when to the shore the boat is set
I reach down to touch her and get myself wet
For I am a sailor and for me
I am the one married to the sea
I do love my lady, my lady the sea
For she takes good care of me, of me
She is the one I have struggled to find
Forever will she stay in my mind.
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2 comments:

  1. KatieApril 16, 2012 at 8:05 PM

    Both were very good, however, I think that I actually liked the original better overall. I liked "she is the melody to which I sleep" better than "her song is the one which sends me to sleep". That being said, the ending stanza of the revised version is very well written. The first poem's stanza starting "the grey green waves" is something I wish you hadn't cut.

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    Replies
    1. ClaireApril 16, 2012 at 8:11 PM

      Thanks for you ideas!! I agree, and I know that if I edited it a third time, it would probably be completely different...I am still learning in that department. On the other hand, I actually like "her song is the one which sends me to sleep" better, but that is just because I don't think "melody" sounds right in that part of the poem.

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