I know I have been gone for several weeks, but for some reason I couldn't get the linky to work on my computer. I am back, and am looking forward to more writing in the new year!
Hunger
It pained her, having to see them like this. There were always smiles and waves, eager hands and bright eyes, but as surely as the Elephant is wrinkled, Jane could see their tight bellies and wide eyed stares. Here in Africa, this was common, the people knew that if the Giraffe could eat the high leaves, they could adapt as well to life in the dust filled bowl of a continent. The children were the worst, because through all the suffering, they laughed and played. Jane knew they deserved better, and the bitter taste of hunger lingered in her stomach too; the hunger for justice.
Great Job! I loved the phrase you used "as surely as the Elephant is wrinkled". You did a good job of using a simile to add to your story.
ReplyDeleteThis is so good!!! I'm with R.J., the Elephant line is perfect.
ReplyDeleteI could sense these animals were possibly being abused and mistreated. Nice work with the details and imagery!
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking scene - you have done this so very well. I'm glad you went to this scene but I'm sure it was difficult. There is a lot of power in your words you've used. Really moving.
ReplyDeleteAnother vote for the elephant...and I could picture the children. Heartbreaking, well done.
ReplyDeleteYes, it was heartbreaking but so very well written!
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